nonsense: freak out!

it's been a while, has it not? some of you may be wondering, "where the hell has jenna been? she's gotten me all used to her charming, witty, etc., etc. posts on her blog and now she's left me high and dry. what a bitch."
well maybe not, but i like to at least pretend that someone, somewhere might be thinking that. actually, i'm pretty sure that a few someones might be thinking that last part anyway. even if they don't read my blog.
so here's the deal. i'm freaking out. completely freaking out right now so you'll have to forgive the sporadic nature of my entries for the next few weeks. i'm trying to hold onto my sanity at the moment and that is taking up quite a bit more of my time than it usually does.

why?

(perhaps you've already begun to notice my fondness for lists which i never realized until i read my own blog. funny that. so here's another list for you.)

a list of the reasons jenna is currently freaking out and wishing she had some valium and that if she did that she would not be afraid to take it because she is weird like that:

1) i am currently in the process of applying to graduate school. by "currently in the process of" i of course mean "currently freaking out about". here is why- the word "applying" as it is used in conjunction with programs of graduate level education is ridiculously misleading in its simplicity. it does not mean to simply fill out some little form and send it in as i had hoped. oh no. it is quite a process that many people spend months, perhaps a couple of years looking into, making contacts, convincing complete strangers that happen to be experts in their field that you aren't an idiot in spite of limited experience and some dubious grades from your freshman year when studying and even going to class was unheard of that they would indeed love to take you on as a student in their lab and invest in your education, bugging professors that you hope remember you to write recommendation letters, actually applying. luckily i have given myself a full two weeks in which to do all of this. to apply myself to the task of applying. as if that weren't enough let me relate what else i must do in these two wonderful weeks that lie ahead.

2)some of these stupid schools aren't satisfied with just the general version of the gre. nope. they want the biology subject test also. another standardized means of judgment i suppose. didn't seem too awful until i talked to my friends that studied for six months for the damn thing and still failed. six months!? who thinks that far ahead anyway? luckily i have those same fabulous two weeks to learn about biochemistry, microbiology, genetics, plant physiology, animal physiology, ecology, evolution, and some other biology related crap that i can't even remember the names for because i haven't studied yet!!

3)um, i think i might happen to have a final that same week but i can't say for sure when because i haven't been to class in recent memory. actually, i know i have a final but i have chosen to ignore it for now.

(i bet you're hoping this whine-fest is going to end soon aren't you? not such luck buddy. after all, i'm not forcing you to read further. stop now before you realize how pathetic i have allowed my life to become. now you're interest has been renewed hasn't it you sick fuck? ok then.)

4)i have to move out of my apartment sometime this month because my vampirous car has finally sucked my finances completely dry despite the fact that it still needs a new starter, a transmission flush, and a couple of new door handles. since i don't have anything holding me to athens at the moment i thought this might be a grand opportunity to go somewhere new and improved for a while. of course, i have no idea where to go and even if i did i have no money and a broken car to (not) take me there. hmm. life's looking good. do you know anyone who needs a place to live or wants to buy a fabulous '91 buick skylark or a money-pit '88 jetta?

ah, venting feels good. good for me. maybe bad for you? now you know more about my life than you had ever hoped or feared. at least now you can see why i am a basket case and not posting much online. busy, busy, busy. to make you feel better, i will tell you about the bright side of this situation. on the bright side, once this month is over things will seem way better than they actually are because i won't have quite so much to freak out about. i should know where i'm going to school, where i'll be living for the next six months and, after that, the next five years. once i sell one car, i should be able to fix the other piece of crap and hopefully buy some groceries and maybe some beer. all of my shit will be in storage so i will be free. free! for the next few months anyway. san fran? new mexico? who knows which way the wind will take me. don't miss me too much athens. i may be back come august.

(ok, it's time for me to sign off until next time. i've got a 40 of icehouse and 1000 pages of biology to get through before i declare this evening to be over.)

p.s. just so you don't feel too bad for me, i spent my thanksgiving break in new york. here are some photos from the trip for you to enjoy. don't worry, be happy.
p. diddly!
somewheres in nyc
aw(e), ain't it purty?