immediately after my arrival at the new york, laguardia airport i am struck by the strangeness of people. sure people in athens are pretty strange, but i'm used to all of them. and once you're accustomed to something (or someone) it's no longer strange, now is it?
so new york people- visitors and residents alike- man they're odd. take "david" for example. my friend leslie and i met him on the bus from the airport to the train. the bus was packed with people and most of them had gigantic suitcases with them. suitcases stategically placed to block the aisles and prevent anyone from getting on or off the bus and, in the process, incur the wrath of the bus driver who refused to budge until the aisles were cleared. needless to say we were there a while.
as leslie and i caught up with the happenings in eachother's lives i could see david watching us. waiting for his in. he struck me as strange right off the bat. there was just something a little off, a little contrived, about his carefully cultivated rocker style. he was an attractive guy but his hair was a little too bleached (sun-in maybe?) and carefully messed up. his clothes were a little too urban outfitter-esque to be an expression of his own unique style. his guitar case looked too clean to have put in much time on the road. and his not so subtle, trying-to catch-our eyes coyness was a bit too determined. he appeared to have an agenda. so we ignored him.
unfortunately the bus remained immobile for quite some time and as leslie and i launched into my failed graduate school plans at uga and what i was going to do instead, i made the fatal mistake of mentioning the possibility that i would go to austin. to the university of texas where there is a great ecology program.
oops. texas was the in. how was i to know that? too late to take it back.
"TEXAS?" frown. "texas is a terrible place."
of course it is. bush country. rich right-wing republican haven. blah. blah. but nope, that's not what david meant at all. david is from oklahoma and, according to him, there is deep, long-standing hatred between oklahomians ("oklahomians"? did i just make that up?) and texans due, not to political differences, but to a college football rivalry. his fellow travelers nod enthusiastically in heartfelt, heartland solidarity. fascinating. football, my favorite topic.
but david didn't really want to talk football, gosh darn it. he wanted to talk GOD. of course. a christian rocker. how did i not spot it immediately? he was in town from oklahoma with the aisle blockers to "hang out at the park and play some music and talk to people" (read- to "save heathen souls such as mine and leslie's and show them the ways of our lord and savior jesus christ and maybe get laid in the process if that was god's will, amen.")
really, i shouldn't make fun of him too much because he was a nice guy despite his agenda. he wasn't a pusher. he just talked a little bit about what he was doing and asked us about ourselves and just casually mentioned that he was going to be in washington square park on friday night if we wanted to stop by. well, we didn't want to stop by but we acted our part and said that we might just do that (when hell freezes over).
but then fate or coincidence (or GOD?) had a different plan for us and we found ourselves meeting a couple of people at that same park on that same night.
while sitting by the fountain with our friends joseph and ian, leslie and i looked around for david. there was a large gang of "folks" gathered around a few guitar players but our david wasn't with the other rabble-rousers from oklahoma. now, you can blame it on the frame of mind created by the companionable passing of a flask of whiskey among friends, but leslie and i were disappointed. we actually wanted to see good old david. maybe we felt the pull of salvation or maybe we just felt a bit drunk and silly. at any rate, we kept checking back with the christians to see if he would show up.
and then, finally, there he was. david. so we got all excited and pointed him out to joseph and ian who didn't really give a shit. except that when ian saw who we were pointing at he got a funny look on his face. a look that appeared to be a definite mixture of disgust and humor.
i:"that's the guy?"
l and me: "yup."
i: funny facial expression continues.
me: "why? what the hell? do you know him?"
i: "um....no but we were just in the bathroom together and....never mind."
me: "what? just spit it out."
i: "well..." makes a weak, wheezy, singsong farting noise.
me: "what the fuck was that? he farted? if so, that was the most pathetic farting noise ever."
l: "he either farted or sang a really weird song in the bathroom."
i: getting more enthusiastic "dude, he didn't just fart. he let it rip like no one i've ever heard before. it was like he just didn't care who heard him."
me: "that's because god will love him anyway."
j: snorts
me: "did it smell bad?"
i: his expression says it all. i think it's safe to say that it didn't smell like roses.
l: "gross" drinks some whiskey, hands me the flask.
i: "i think i'm ready for a hit off of that flask now." drinks. grimaces.
me: "christians fart, too? it's too bad god can't cure that. if he could i bet a lot of people might suddenly convert to christianity." tilts it back again.
j: "who wants to go see billy graham with me on sunday?"
me: "are you hoping god will cure your farts if you convert?"
j: "i'm already christian."
me: "oh, yeah. i guess it's official then. christianity is not a cure for gas."
j: mean look directed at me
then, as we got up to leave, leslie and i got another surge of desire to converse with david and his crew. as we drew closer to the crowd we hesitated. stopped. and then veered away from them completely. i guess we just weren't feeling god that night. or maybe we were just afraid that we might get caught downwind from david and his pals.
if it was god that tried to bring us together, it must have been a powerful wind indeed that blew us apart.
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